What Not To Do...While Riding in the Back of a Pickup Truck

If you find yourself riding in the back of a pickup truck, SIT AGAINST THE CAB. If you don't, you may receive serious injuries from being backed up into trees, curbs, buildings, signs, etc. Trees are by far the worst, because they have protruding limbs that can stab you in the back of the head. It's not fun, so just sit with your back touching the cab.

Glaring Evilly in Your Direction,
The Devil in You

What Not To Do...Over An Instant Messaging Device

Whether it be IM, facebook chat, texting, or anything of the sort, here's a list of three things NOT to do:

1) Don't use sarcasm. It could be taken very badly by the receiving party and for all you know, you could wake up with an egged house.

2) iz thi$ ann0y1ng? $um peple ju$t d0nt n0 h0w 2 spel 0r u$e de rite wurd$, $0 dey make dem up a$ dey g0

3) Don't laugh out loud. Lol-ing when people are sitting or standing near you makes them think that you're going insane. Especially if they don't understand why you're laughing even when you try to explain.

B31ng Uh Ann0y1ng P3r$0n:
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...While Hiking

Here is a list of things to not do while hiking:

GIRLS:
Don't wear high heels. You'll fall off a cliff.
Don't wear makeup. It'll all melt into your eyes and make you walk off a cliff.
Don't bring a big heavy purse. It'll put you off balance and pull you off a cliff.

GUYS:
Don't wear high heels. Not only will you fall off a cliff (more likely than a girl would), but you'd look dumb.
Don't listen to your ipod. You'll probably have it blaring, so you won't hear when a big rock slide comes and knocks you off a cliff.
Don't eat a ton of food before you go. Halfway through the hike you'll need to barf, so when you lean over the edge to do so, you'll lose your balance and fall off the cliff.

Laughing At Your Misery,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...While In A School Play

If you ever happen to find yourself participating in the school play, you'll notice there's a lot of rules about what goes on backstage. One of the most important ones is to not wear outer-clothing (for example: jackets, coats, hats, etc.) If you do, you might forget that you're wearing it and end up going on stage with it still on. PEOPLE WILL NOTICE!!! And how embarrassing would that be if you wore, for example, a Tinkerbell jacket in the middle of a baseball game scene?

Laughing Mercilessly,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...During An Open Book Test

When you are taking an open book test, don't try to flatter yourself and not use your notes. Seriously, who would do that anyway? You have a chance (a very high one, mind you) of getting an easy 100% on the test, and you're considering blowing it because you want to look smart? Believe me, kid, everyone else is using their notes. No one cares if you do or not, except maybe...well, nevermind.

Bombing a Test,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...At A Drumline Rehearsal

If you are ever lucky enough to be a part of a drumline, when you are at rehearsal, DO NOT MOVE. EVER. Do not FIDGET, do not FLINCH, do not BLINK, do not even BREATHE. If you do, you will end up doing pushups. And who wants to do 150 of those?

Listening to the Band,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...When You Find A Strand of Thread Coming Out of Your Shirt

If you find a small bit of thread coming out of the sleeve of your shirt, don't pull on it! It will get longer and longer, and although that's way cool, your sleeve is going to get shorter and shorter. After a while, you will have a big long strand of thread, and no shirt. Imagine if that happened at school? Or work? Or Wal-Mart???

Thinking of Myriad Dumb Things At Once,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...In The Cave of the Thespians

Thespians...we've all heard of them. In case you haven't, they're those over-dramatic actors in our lives, usually involved with plays or drama classes. They also all have a leader, and the name of the leader depends on the school they attend. When addressing them all, we call them Directosaurus's. If you ever come in close contact with a Directosaurus, don't mess with anything you find in their cave (commonly known as stages). You will get a shoe thrown at you, which is their highest defense, and usually means they are getting angry. If a shoe is chucked at you, I would suggest that you BOOK IT.

Running Around Madly,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...With A Doghouse

When you find yourself and some of your friends near a large doghouse, feel free to play around it, on top of it, but don't play inside of it. ESPECIALLY don't see how many people you can fit inside of it at the same time. You may be able to fit a lot of people, but it's extremely close quarters, squishy, and really, really REALLY hot. And someone's breath may stink...or someone might 'cut the cheese', or...well, you get the point.

Watching the World Go By,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...With Fireworks

When you find yourself with extra fireworks after the holidays, whatever you do, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, use electrical tape to tape all around them before lighting them. They might be duds, but the ones that aren't quite literally EXPLODE!!! The remains go flying everywhere and you won't be able to find them. You could very easily get arrested for littering.

On the Lookout,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...The Day Before A School Dance

The day before a school dance, don't go all independent on your parents. "I don't wanna do my chores" "Why do you care if my bedroom's clean or not? You don't ever go in there" "LEAVE ME ALONE I'M ON THE PHONE!" Those are some examples of things that might just get you landed in groundation-nation.

Off Carping About Someone,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...While Searching Through A Couch

You know how couches eat everything? Pencils, coins, toys, books...couches eat them all. For those of you dumb enough to go looking for your stuff - DON'T!!! I don't joke around when I say they literally eat EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. If you go sticking your hand down there, next thing you know you won't have an arm. Or worse...

Wishing You A Cheery Day,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...When Skydiving

One day, when you find yourself diving down from the sky, don't waste your time screaming or crying or licking a lollipop. You should probably focus your thoughts on more important things. Like, why did you do this in the first place? Why were you dumb enough to do it? Are you going to land someplace safe? Is the wind blowing you off course? Are you totally screwed?

Contemplating Your Fate,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...With A Wall

I personally love to write on walls. Graffiti is my passion! But whatever you do, DON'T draw on the wall, paint over it, draw on the SAME spot again, paint over it, blah blah blah. Eventually you'll have a section of wall that's a foot thicker than the rest of the wall.

Dreaming All Day Long,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...With A Ring...And Superglue...

If you happen to find yourself with a cheapo ring and a bottle o' superglue, don't go throwing your two closest friends a fake wedding, and in the process 'accidentally' superglue the ring to the groom's finger. It may take a long time to get off, and imagine the mess? Or how angry his parents would be...your pick.

Drowning in Pickle Juice,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...With Chocolate Milk

Ever thought of how you'd like to die? Well, while you're thinking about it (because I'm sure I've got you thinking about it now...buahaha) don't even consider drowning yourself by drinking chocolate milk. You'd have to be really skilled to be able to BREATHE the chocolate milk, and even then, who wants to go up to Heaven and tell all the cool war people from history that you died from chocolate milk?

Don't Be Dumb,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...On A Blog

Don't write random crap that no one cares about. If you do, it's like traipsing around in a circular room - you don't get anywhere. And no one bothers paying attention to you. Unless, like, you keep bumping into walls or something dumb like that. Then they might watch you just to laugh.

Ever So Seriously,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...With An Envelope

When you receive that glorious envelope, with which you can send practically anything anywhere, do NOT send yourself to Disneyland. Although it is a very clever way to get into the park without a ticket, they will probably still make you pay.

Mocking You,
The Devil in You

What Not To Do...With Poetry

Don't post poetry just anywhere on the internet. People might steal it and claim that it's theirs. For example:


Read to me
And let my mind
Fly away to a
Wonderful land of
My imagination
Leaving the real
World behind
With all of its
Sorrow, grief,
And unnumbered hurts

Take me to
A place of joy
Where the wondrous
Figments of my
Thoughts reside
Where I make
The rules, and
The laws are
Under my control
And my command

Sing to me
Let me slumber
To the calm
And comforting
Sound of your
Angelic voice
Softly flowing
Through the air
To reassure my
Deranged mind

Dance with me
And let me
Rock and sway
While you
Guide me
With your
Gentle hands
And kindly smile
Pulling me into
A comforting waltz

Live with me
And stay
By my side
Until time's end
Sharing laughs
And smiles
And tears
But for now
Please
Read to me


There's an example of what NOT to do.

You'd Better Not Take That Poem,
The Devil In You

What Not To Do...While Drumming

If you happen to be drumming and one of your friends decides to put their fingers on your drum, DO NOT continue playing. I know, they need to be taught a lesson, but smacking their fingers could result in bleeding, bruising, nail-loss, broken bones, torn skin, and eternal guilt.

Reveling in Memories,
The Devil In You